Friday, March 13, 2009

CSAP and Sears

I finally have a spare minute to write a little something, but the things that have kept me busy lately are far from newsworthy. Today marked the end of CSAP testing (Colorado's version of the TAKS test). Simply recounting the memories makes me want to poke needles in my eyes. I literally walked around my classroom for hours as students found creative ways to bubble in answers and pass gas. To say it was thrilling simply wouldn't do it justice.

As if CSAP wasn't enough to keep me on my Rocky Mountain high, I had before and after school duty this week. Yesterday, I caught a 7th grader making a bold attempt to celebrate the end of CSAP testing with a bottle of Bud Light. I asked him for a sip and then escorted him to the front office. Kidding. We went 50/50.

To reward myself for surviving the week, I have a trip to Sears Automotive planned for tomorrow. I can hardly wait to wake up in the morning. I actually went to have my oil changed and tires rotated last week which is when they called to tell me that my brakes needed to be replaced or serviced or whatever....something about metal on metal. But, I had already taught Saturday School earlier that morning, and I try to make it a point to limit myself to only two or three indulgences per day.

With all of the magic in my life, one might wonder why I am anxiously awaiting Spring Break '09...which just so happens to be exactly one week away. I'll be packing up and heading to the great state of Texas for a few days and then spending some time on the slopes in Winter Park. Sadly, I'm not sure if there is a Sears Automotive in Winter Park, but I think it will be fun nonetheless.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Blind Skier

One of my favorite pastimes in Colorado is skiing. Last weekend, the snow was so intense in the morning that I could hardly see more than a few feet ahead of me. At one point the powder completely covered my boots. Fortunately, the sky cleared that afternoon and gave us a beautiful and perfect ending to the day.

During a quick trip to the lodge before lunch, I saw a blind skier and her instructor preparing to hit the slopes. I am always in awe of anyone who perseveres beyond his or her disabilities, but there is something about a blind skier that completely humbles me. That day, my heart was captured by the determination of a young skier who was willing to put her absolute trust in another. It is a picture I still can't seem to get out of my mind.

The truth is, our relationship with Christ is much like that of a blind skier and her instructor. Only God knows what lies down the hill or around the bend. He sees the trees and the bumps and the obstacles that we might face . He knows when it is appropriate to go around them or over them or through them. He knows when to push us and when to slow us down, and He times His commands just perfectly...never giving us more instruction than we need. Our job is simply to listen and to trust His voice, and to rest in the fact that He is right beside us.

I'll be honest and tell you that the past few weeks have been challenging for me. I not only feel like a blind skier, I feel like a blind skier who is on skis for the first time in the middle of a snowstorm. I am straining to hear the voice of the Lord and praying that I am making the right turns at the right time. I am trusting that He will redirect me if I am off course, and I am resting in the fact that I have an instructor who loves me and knows my limitations. He is a good God, and I am believing Him to guide me through an adventure that is abundantly more than I could ever even begin to imagine.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Duty

When I taught in Cy-Fair, I had the luxury of monitoring the stairwell during one five minute passing period each day. Never again in my lifetime will I complain about stairwell duty. Okay, never...unless I actually have to do it again. I say this because "duty" takes on an entirely new meaning when teaching in my current school district. Here, I have lunch duty once a week as well as morning and after school duty for one week each month.

Lunch duty involves one other teacher and myself monitoring our entire sixth grade population. This would be doable if we had weapons, but we don't. Instead, we have a microphone...in the event that we need to make an announcement or sing a Sunday morning solo. It's a very effective tool.

Yesterday, my lunch duty partner thought it might be a good idea to sing "Happy Birthday" to one of our sixth grade students. I'm not sure when this became part of the routine, but let's just say it was a short-lived tradition.

I was standing near the lunch line when, without warning, her plan echoed through the aforementioned microphone. Immediately, the world around me began to move in slow motion. I don't think the words ever left my mouth, but every ounce of my being began to lunge forward in a frantic and dramatic, "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Of course, my instincts were right because just as she burst forth in song, the kids burst forth in an aerial food raid.

Chaos ensued, and I was nearly pummeled by a nugget as I attempted to put a stop to the madness. The microphone was out of my reach leaving me completely unarmed, and I could do little more than head to the front lines in an effort to gain control of the situation. I still don't know why...no one can really explain sixth graders, but the fighting stopped almost as quickly as it began. Fortunately our school only serves food that holds fast to its form, so the damage to the cafeteria was minimal. I also managed to escape unscathed...which is really all that matters.

My morning and afternoon duty stations also tend to provide me with a great deal of entertainment...and frostbite. Because my administrators like to punish the foreigners (that would be me), I was assigned to parking lot /baseball field duty...sort of like an initiation. For fifteen minutes before school and fifteen minutes after school, I get to stand outside in temperatures as low as forty-seven below zero. In case you think I'm kidding, this is my duty station...


And yes, that is fresh snow on the ground. You can see the high volume of foot traffic and the obvious need for my presence. Indeed, I offer a valuable service to our school community. Actually, yesterday did present an opportunity for me to flex my baseball field monitor muscles. Just as I was wrapping up a phone conversation with my mom (I use my time on duty to make others aware of my miserable condition), a "fight" erupted. Apparently, yesterday was Rocky Theme Day at my school.

I watched as one of my former students shoved another kid from behind. It is hardly unusual to see two middle school boys assaulting one another, so I didn't think much of it at first. When the backpack came off though and a second punch was thrown, I knew it was the real deal. I ran down the hill and was already on the scene before I realized that I didn't have my microphone. Nevertheless, my presence alone was enough to end the scuffle, and another grueling day of duty came to an end.

Lest you think the fight was without cause, I learned as I escorted the young Caucasian offender back to the school...His punch was justified because the other skinny white boy had called him the "n" word. I'm still not sure what to do with that.

Saturday, February 7, 2009

Costco

I recently gave into peer pressure by abandoning my Sam's card and jumping head first into the Costco craze. I tend to by a loyalist and usually do my best to stick with an original, but this is a decision I do not regret. I have to give a shout out here to my good friend Tiffany H. for pushing me over the edge on my membership purchase. High five, Tiff. I am in food warehouse heaven.

Aside from a sizable selection of organic and healthy food options, Costco of Colorado Springs offers an impressive variety of delicious sample treats. Now, I know samples, but the display I witnessed last week was a thing of rare beauty. In all honesty, I am struggling to find reasons why I should ever buy food again. The way I see it, I just bought a fifty dollar meal ticket. The next time I visit, I'm coming armed with my own plate and an after-dinner mint.

I don't know about you, but I love me some samples. Of course, half of the fun is pretending as though I have randomly stumbled upon each delectable food station...as if I am so intent on my shopping that I unwittingly happened upon the bite-sized portions of pork ribs in barbecue sauce or natural turkey jerky. Truth be told, I typically run over three or four less aggressive customers in my race to the sample buffet. Of course, I slow my pace to a respectable trot somewhere between the outdoor fountains and patio furniture because I value discretion and see no reason to alert the sample staff of my arrival.

I also go to great lengths to consume my samples in the appropriate meal order...appetizers first, main course second, dessert last. This almost never happens though. Quite frankly, skipping a sample station in the hopes that supplies are unlimited is a risk that I'm just not willing to take.

Needless to say, my first official member trip to Costco far exceeded my expectations. My warehouse club loyalty has forever been changed, and I'm not looking back.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

25 Random Things About Me

This has been going around on Facebook for awhile, so I finally gave into the pressure and came up with 25 random things about myself...

1. I find that my mind now thinks in third person. I blame this on the Facebook "status" option. Example...Tiffany doesn't understand why there aren't more samples at Whole Foods today. She wasn't planning on buying dinner, and now it looks like she is going to have to find something to eat.

2. When I yawn, my left eye takes awhile to pop back to its original size and shape. I don't think I'm alone on this one.

3. I am completely disgusted by people who clip their nails in public. The nail salon does not count as public.

4. I won the school Spelling Bee in 5th grade. (By the way, my mom didn't have a car at the time and walked over 2 miles down Huffmeister pushing Tara in a stroller to see me win). I lost the district Spelling Bee on the word "adamant". I think of this EVERY TIME I use the word "adamant". Unfortunately, I'm adamant about many things.

5. I plan on blaming everything that goes wrong in the next 4 years on Barack Obama. I think I've earned this after taking the heat for the past 8 years. By the way, Tiffany is pretty sure it was Barack Obama's fault that there weren't more samples at Whole Foods today.

6. The two criteria I have for my wardrobe are comfort and warmth. This goes for shoes as well.

7. "Little House on the Prairie" is my favorite show, and I'm not afraid to say it.

8. I cheer out loud and clap my hands for the contestants on "The Biggest Loser" even when I am watching it alone. I like to see people work hard to achieve their goals. I also cheer out loud and cry a little when a family on "Extreme Home Makeover" gets their new house.

9. I LOVE that I'm a Texan!

10. I LOVE that I live in Colorado!

11. There is a small part of me that would like to be Amish. However, I do not enjoy Shoe-fly pie...or bonnets.

12. I'm fascinated by history, especially American history.

13. One of my favorite childhood memories is when my parents surprised us by picking us up from school early to take my sisters and me to see "Mr. Mom" at Town and Country mall. Disclaimer...As a teacher, I get really mad when parents take their kids out of school to go to the movies.

14. One thing I look forward to as a mom is packing my kids' lunchboxes and writing notes on their napkins.

15. "Hee Haw" was on TV last week, and I watched it.

16. The first time I wore a training bra to school, I hated it so much that I went to the bathroom during recess and stuck it in my pocket.

17. I despise the word "belly" unless it is preceded by the word "jelly" or followed by "of a whale". I have also recently decided that I don't like the word "shawl". Fortunately, shawls are not often a topic of conversation in the 21st Century....unless you're Amish.

18. I love chocolate! I think the only fruits that should ever mix with chocolate are fresh strawberries or bananas.

19. It doesn't matter how many miles I run, I will always have "Excuse me, pardon me" thighs. I blame this on Barack Obama.

20. I never get tired of the mountains. I am still as in awe of them today as I was the first time I visited Colorado. The sunset behind Pike's Peak is one of my favorite things.

21. I won a calf scramble (of sorts) at a local rodeo when I was in elementary school. The grand prize was five dollars.

22. I was sent to the principal's office one time during my school career. I was in the third grade, and I hit Michael Froelich because he wouldn't stop eating paper. My principal was Mr. Charles Goodson. The last five years I was in Houston, I taught at Charles Goodson Middle School. Apparently, he didn't think Michael should have been eating paper either.

23. I read the labels on just about anything I buy.

24. I think the Northwest Memorial Baptist Church congregation of the 80's is the most incredible group of people ever to be assembled.

25. I am blessed with an incredible family and wonderful friends. I am loved by an amazing God who humbles me with His unfailing mercy and grace. I live in a beautiful state and worship at one of the greatest churches on the planet. I have a job that allows me to touch the lives of people every day...and I get my summers OFF! I might not be where I want to be at this stage of my life, but I am still VERY blessed.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Editor's Response

I feel it is necessary for me to respond to Jeremy's comment on my most recent blog entry...in part because it was a piece of tabloid genius and also because it was almost entirely true. Let's take it a piece at a time...

"Crazy New Life Church Member" - Now, I could go for Crazy (COMMA) New Life Church Member. After all, I do choose to spend my days with middle school students. And, I did willingly leave the great Republic to live amongst a society of people who do not appreciate the importance of good queso or Whataburger ketchup. For these reasons, I could agree with "crazy". However, I do not think I qualify as a Crazy New Life Church Member until I arrive at church bearing streamers and a tambourine. And a bun.

"Abandons bi-racial family started in rural Africa"
- It's no big secret that Jeremy and I share an African child. Her name is Delvin, and she is an absolute doll. She gets the great smile from me, and if her hair was longer you would see that she gets it from Jeremy's side of the family. I won't go into the details of her adoption, but let's just say that World Hope thought it best that we send money instead of attempting to bring her into the dysfunction of American life. It could also have something to do with the fact that I am "crazy", and Jeremy has an obsession with chihuahua's that wear toupee's...but I'm going with the dysfunctional American story. That's just easier.



Delvin



"To pursue the perfect pedicure" - I'll give you this one...except that my pursuit began long before I arrived in Africa.

"Leaves only soccer ball to neglected daughter" - This was hardly any soccer ball. It was an evange-soccer ball that brilliantly illustrated the Gospel message. One glance at my WWJD bracelet confirms to me that I hit it out of the park on this one. I really don't think further justification is necessary.



The Evange-Ball in action



Jeremy playing with the giraffes. Delvin was most likely at home playing with her soccer ball.

Big hug, Jeremy!

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Horse's, Snuggies, and New Life Church

An early morning snowfall prevented me from following through with my outdoor running plans, so I defaulted to Plan B and went for a quick jog on the treadmill at my local gym. I usually listen to my iPod while I run, but I plugged into the local news instead so I could get an update on the weather. I'm learning that watching the weather around here is about as accurate as referencing a magic eight ball. As it turns out, the magic eight ball was wrong again.

Anyhow, I stayed tuned to the news after the informative weather report because the upcoming story happened to be about my church...again. The media has been such a frequent guest of our church in the past two years that I'm considering hiring an agent. It only makes sense.

As it turns out, our former pastor has again made a name for himself in the national news. We learned a few weeks ago that the prestigious and highly acclaimed HBO is set to air an interview with him at the end of this month. Then, a "new" set of allegations were brought to light this week when our local ABC station announced its plans to air an interview with a member of our congregation who apparently had an inappropriate relationship with our former pastor.

For those of you who don't know, Ted Haggard, the founding pastor of my church was fired a couple of years ago as a result of a scandal that was broadcast all over national news. By the time I arrived in Colorado, Ted was already gone. He was never my pastor. The church has spent two years trying to pick up the pieces in addition to coping with the tragic event of December 9, 2007. But, the media loves a story...and it seems that a healing, thriving, tenacious, God-centered church doesn't boost ratings. Even worse, Colorado Springs news anchors have little else to talk about. Case in point...the New Life story was followed by a piece on a retiring police horse and a brilliant segment about Snuggies, the blanket you can wear. Now, there's news you can use!

I'm not sure what the media hopes to accomplish with this latest headline. Truth be told, most people in our congregation moved on a long time ago. We are not surprised by the latest allegations, and we won't be surprised if more stories surface in the future. Like every one of us, Ted is a sinner and he obviously had more than his fair share of secrets. The church has gone to great lengths to offer him (and those who were affected by his poor choices) counseling, assistance, financial support, and forgiveness. So, let us move on already. Otherwise, we need to make plans to negotiate my contract.