Duty

When I taught in Cy-Fair, I had the luxury of monitoring the stairwell during one five minute passing period each day. Never again in my lifetime will I complain about stairwell duty. Okay, never...unless I actually have to do it again. I say this because "duty" takes on an entirely new meaning when teaching in my current school district. Here, I have lunch duty once a week as well as morning and after school duty for one week each month.

Lunch duty involves one other teacher and myself monitoring our entire sixth grade population. This would be doable if we had weapons, but we don't. Instead, we have a microphone...in the event that we need to make an announcement or sing a Sunday morning solo. It's a very effective tool.

Yesterday, my lunch duty partner thought it might be a good idea to sing "Happy Birthday" to one of our sixth grade students. I'm not sure when this became part of the routine, but let's just say it was a short-lived tradition.

I was standing near the lunch line when, without warning, her plan echoed through the aforementioned microphone. Immediately, the world around me began to move in slow motion. I don't think the words ever left my mouth, but every ounce of my being began to lunge forward in a frantic and dramatic, "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Of course, my instincts were right because just as she burst forth in song, the kids burst forth in an aerial food raid.

Chaos ensued, and I was nearly pummeled by a nugget as I attempted to put a stop to the madness. The microphone was out of my reach leaving me completely unarmed, and I could do little more than head to the front lines in an effort to gain control of the situation. I still don't know why...no one can really explain sixth graders, but the fighting stopped almost as quickly as it began. Fortunately our school only serves food that holds fast to its form, so the damage to the cafeteria was minimal. I also managed to escape unscathed...which is really all that matters.

My morning and afternoon duty stations also tend to provide me with a great deal of entertainment...and frostbite. Because my administrators like to punish the foreigners (that would be me), I was assigned to parking lot /baseball field duty...sort of like an initiation. For fifteen minutes before school and fifteen minutes after school, I get to stand outside in temperatures as low as forty-seven below zero. In case you think I'm kidding, this is my duty station...


And yes, that is fresh snow on the ground. You can see the high volume of foot traffic and the obvious need for my presence. Indeed, I offer a valuable service to our school community. Actually, yesterday did present an opportunity for me to flex my baseball field monitor muscles. Just as I was wrapping up a phone conversation with my mom (I use my time on duty to make others aware of my miserable condition), a "fight" erupted. Apparently, yesterday was Rocky Theme Day at my school.

I watched as one of my former students shoved another kid from behind. It is hardly unusual to see two middle school boys assaulting one another, so I didn't think much of it at first. When the backpack came off though and a second punch was thrown, I knew it was the real deal. I ran down the hill and was already on the scene before I realized that I didn't have my microphone. Nevertheless, my presence alone was enough to end the scuffle, and another grueling day of duty came to an end.

Lest you think the fight was without cause, I learned as I escorted the young Caucasian offender back to the school...His punch was justified because the other skinny white boy had called him the "n" word. I'm still not sure what to do with that.

Costco

I recently gave into peer pressure by abandoning my Sam's card and jumping head first into the Costco craze. I tend to by a loyalist and usually do my best to stick with an original, but this is a decision I do not regret. I have to give a shout out here to my good friend Tiffany H. for pushing me over the edge on my membership purchase. High five, Tiff. I am in food warehouse heaven.

Aside from a sizable selection of organic and healthy food options, Costco of Colorado Springs offers an impressive variety of delicious sample treats. Now, I know samples, but the display I witnessed last week was a thing of rare beauty. In all honesty, I am struggling to find reasons why I should ever buy food again. The way I see it, I just bought a fifty dollar meal ticket. The next time I visit, I'm coming armed with my own plate and an after-dinner mint.

I don't know about you, but I love me some samples. Of course, half of the fun is pretending as though I have randomly stumbled upon each delectable food station...as if I am so intent on my shopping that I unwittingly happened upon the bite-sized portions of pork ribs in barbecue sauce or natural turkey jerky. Truth be told, I typically run over three or four less aggressive customers in my race to the sample buffet. Of course, I slow my pace to a respectable trot somewhere between the outdoor fountains and patio furniture because I value discretion and see no reason to alert the sample staff of my arrival.

I also go to great lengths to consume my samples in the appropriate meal order...appetizers first, main course second, dessert last. This almost never happens though. Quite frankly, skipping a sample station in the hopes that supplies are unlimited is a risk that I'm just not willing to take.

Needless to say, my first official member trip to Costco far exceeded my expectations. My warehouse club loyalty has forever been changed, and I'm not looking back.

25 Random Things About Me

This has been going around on Facebook for awhile, so I finally gave into the pressure and came up with 25 random things about myself...

1. I find that my mind now thinks in third person. I blame this on the Facebook "status" option. Example...Tiffany doesn't understand why there aren't more samples at Whole Foods today. She wasn't planning on buying dinner, and now it looks like she is going to have to find something to eat.

2. When I yawn, my left eye takes awhile to pop back to its original size and shape. I don't think I'm alone on this one.

3. I am completely disgusted by people who clip their nails in public. The nail salon does not count as public.

4. I won the school Spelling Bee in 5th grade. (By the way, my mom didn't have a car at the time and walked over 2 miles down Huffmeister pushing Tara in a stroller to see me win). I lost the district Spelling Bee on the word "adamant". I think of this EVERY TIME I use the word "adamant". Unfortunately, I'm adamant about many things.

5. I plan on blaming everything that goes wrong in the next 4 years on Barack Obama. I think I've earned this after taking the heat for the past 8 years. By the way, Tiffany is pretty sure it was Barack Obama's fault that there weren't more samples at Whole Foods today.

6. The two criteria I have for my wardrobe are comfort and warmth. This goes for shoes as well.

7. "Little House on the Prairie" is my favorite show, and I'm not afraid to say it.

8. I cheer out loud and clap my hands for the contestants on "The Biggest Loser" even when I am watching it alone. I like to see people work hard to achieve their goals. I also cheer out loud and cry a little when a family on "Extreme Home Makeover" gets their new house.

9. I LOVE that I'm a Texan!

10. I LOVE that I live in Colorado!

11. There is a small part of me that would like to be Amish. However, I do not enjoy Shoe-fly pie...or bonnets.

12. I'm fascinated by history, especially American history.

13. One of my favorite childhood memories is when my parents surprised us by picking us up from school early to take my sisters and me to see "Mr. Mom" at Town and Country mall. Disclaimer...As a teacher, I get really mad when parents take their kids out of school to go to the movies.

14. One thing I look forward to as a mom is packing my kids' lunchboxes and writing notes on their napkins.

15. "Hee Haw" was on TV last week, and I watched it.

16. The first time I wore a training bra to school, I hated it so much that I went to the bathroom during recess and stuck it in my pocket.

17. I despise the word "belly" unless it is preceded by the word "jelly" or followed by "of a whale". I have also recently decided that I don't like the word "shawl". Fortunately, shawls are not often a topic of conversation in the 21st Century....unless you're Amish.

18. I love chocolate! I think the only fruits that should ever mix with chocolate are fresh strawberries or bananas.

19. It doesn't matter how many miles I run, I will always have "Excuse me, pardon me" thighs. I blame this on Barack Obama.

20. I never get tired of the mountains. I am still as in awe of them today as I was the first time I visited Colorado. The sunset behind Pike's Peak is one of my favorite things.

21. I won a calf scramble (of sorts) at a local rodeo when I was in elementary school. The grand prize was five dollars.

22. I was sent to the principal's office one time during my school career. I was in the third grade, and I hit Michael Froelich because he wouldn't stop eating paper. My principal was Mr. Charles Goodson. The last five years I was in Houston, I taught at Charles Goodson Middle School. Apparently, he didn't think Michael should have been eating paper either.

23. I read the labels on just about anything I buy.

24. I think the Northwest Memorial Baptist Church congregation of the 80's is the most incredible group of people ever to be assembled.

25. I am blessed with an incredible family and wonderful friends. I am loved by an amazing God who humbles me with His unfailing mercy and grace. I live in a beautiful state and worship at one of the greatest churches on the planet. I have a job that allows me to touch the lives of people every day...and I get my summers OFF! I might not be where I want to be at this stage of my life, but I am still VERY blessed.