Believe Me

One year ago this past Tuesday, I was riding to church with my friend Kari. It had snowed the night before, but none of the roads in our area were plowed yet. Because it was early on a Sunday morning, very few people were out. Most of the snow was undisturbed from the night before, and I remember thinking that EVERYTHING was white. It was so beautiful and incredibly peaceful.

I'm pretty much a regular at the 11am service, but we went to the early service that morning. After church, my small group met for lunch. Then, I headed home. Seconds after I walked through the door, my phone began ringing...and ringing...and ringing. I think I might have ignored the first couple of calls because I was desperate for a nap. But the third or fourth call led me to think that something might be wrong. And it was.

While my small group was enjoying a leisurely lunch, an angry gunman had walked onto the campus of our church. By the time it was all said and done, Matthew Murray had taken the lives of two young girls and injured several others. Miraculously, he was taken down by one of our security guards before he ended his own life and before he could do further damage.

I'll never forget turning on my television and watching policeman with their guns drawn, ducking behind cars in the snow covered parking lot where I stood a short time earlier. And, I remember watching SWAT officers moving stealthily around the church I was sitting in...worshiping in just moments before. It was surreal. And dark...a stark contrast from the blanket of white that had greeted us that morning.

The weeks that followed were life changing for me for a number of reasons. At the time of the shooting, I had been without a job for a couple of months. It was a desperate and frustrating season. My faith felt weak, and I was struggling to believe that God was in control. Obviously, my situation paled in comparison to the grief endured by the families who had lost loved ones, but the Lord graciously used the Works family who lost two daughters on that tragic afternoon to teach me a valuable lesson.

It was a Sunday prayer and praise night about a month after the shooting. I happened to be sitting across the aisle from David and Marie Works and their youngest daughter. I remember watching them as they worshiped unashamedly and thinking to myself that God was so absolutely in control of their situation....that He was going to be glorified through this tragedy. I was confident of it. I was also sure that God had to be preparing our church for something very special. Not only had we endured the tragic events of December 9, New Life Church had also lost its founding pastor in a scandal that was broadcast on every national media outlet just 13 months before. It had been a difficult year. Yet, there was great hope and anticipation.

In that moment during worship, I believe the Lord spoke to my heart. I was convicted as He pointed out that I was willing to believe Him corporately, but that I was unwilling to trust Him personally. In other words, it was easy to believe that He was in control of the events facing my church family and the Works family, but I was struggling to see that He also had great purpose in the circumstances that were pressing down on me. It was another lesson in trust, and it brought me back to the verse God used when He first moved me to Colorado Springs.

"You are my witnesses," declares the LORD, "and my servant whom I have chosen, so that you may know and BELIEVE ME and understand that I am he. Before me no god was formed, nor will there be one after me. Isaiah 43:10

"BELIEVE ME"...for a job, a purpose, finances, for a ministry, healing, a spouse, a hope, a future, for those times when you need to be rescued, encouraged, protected, loved. "BELIEVE ME" when the unthinkable happens, when life doesn't make sense, when you can't see a way out, when there seems to be no end in sight. "BELIEVE ME" to be in control of EVERY situation you encounter EVERY SINGLE MOMENT OF EVERY SINGLE DAY.

God is FAITHFUL, and He WILL cause ALL things to work together for good. He is worthy to be trusted...even in the face of tragedy.